Chobots:The Elite Agents Fanfiction

Hello Chobots :D
I'm almost finished editing the first chapter to my Chobot fanfiction. It's called Chobots the Elite Agents.
I decided to give you some info about the story and show you the unedited version of the chapter.
The story is about a fourteen year old Chobot named Edward who manages to get into trouble with the Chobots Police. However, Edward is noticed to have potentail to be a Chobot agent and (after a series of tests) is part of the Agent team. Meanwhile Choproff is put in charge of a brand new magic, the creation magic, giving the holder full power to create anything! But a Dark Chobot kidnapps Choproff in the hopes of getting hold of the unstable new magic. So, Edward and his agent friends are onto a mission that will push them to the limits.
The Fanficiton will bring real Chobots into a story. For example, the friendly agent Puffles. I have asked all the agents if they would like to be in the Fanfiction and have gotten the thumbs up. Confirmed Agents are:
1) William
2) Puffles
3) ZigZag
4) Doll
5) Julz
Cool, eh? And some other people may be popping up through the story. I would like you to finally check out my first Chapter and tell me what you like and don't like and why. This will help me know how to edit the chapter. (Don't worry about the typos, I've got them covered ;)

Chapter One- Kidnapped

Choproff walked over to his large oak desk and sat down and sighed loudly.
The same thought had wriggled into his head again.
‘What was he doing here?’
He couldn’t help thinking it! It was always there at the same place…work. He worked in the biggest building on the planet, Cho-Towers. It was a place for researchers and professors. The building was large, reaching more than one hundred stories high. It could be seen from just about anywhere on the planet apart from the underground. The building was painted white but was a little out of place with the Academy right beside it. The owner of the building, Choproff himself. He was classified as the Head Professor of the planet eight years ago, also earning his own Mod badge.
He loved Cho-Towers, he had the top three floors for himself. The first, his own living space. His second was taken by his large office and equipment. The third was his favourite. It was a library. It was humongous with over a thousand books, some in the Chobot language, others in weird languages like the so called Spanish, Latin and English. However, Choproff spoke a bit in most languages so he was able to read them. The library also held diaries written by other Chobots in history, and one in particular was very special. It was priceless. The real reason was because of how mysterious it was. The name on the front was half rubbed out and only had two letters, the first and the last.

V n

Also the book was written in a strange code, one that Choporff couldn’t understand. His life plan was to retire and figure out what the Dairy was saying.

Choproff looked out his huge glass window getting a view of the planet and its huge dome over it. He had to admit, the planet had made fantastic progress over the years. He remembered the time that the brought the five split up planets together again, hopefully forever. He just wished he could relax and enjoy it all. What he needed was a holiday. Actually, what he needed most of all now was some caffeine. He looked down at his papers. The title boomed out at him
‘Creation Magic’
He quickly read the page.

‘Creation Magic will be the best thing ever to happen to Chobots. The creation magic gives the holder the power to create anything out of anything. It’s just what they want in their minds and it will come true. However we plan to post some limits on the magic to stop the power from being to advanced for those unable to handle the power.
Unfortunately the tests have brought up a number of errors. First, the magic is far too unstable and second it seems to only work on those that are using the magic for destruction and selfish reasons.
We still have hope however. He have created mini versions of the magic, giving the holder a less powerful taste of what the full version can too but the results are same-It only works for the wrong reasons.
We hope that you will give us permission to move into one of your floors on Cho-Towers and work on the Creation Magic.
Of course we have to get you to sign this letter so we have permission to sell the creation magic.
In order to ensure the Creation magic prototype is safe we have locked it in the magic shop and we would like you to enter your codes to your mod badge so that only you may enter the safe where the magic is being held.
We have also mailed you the small versions of the creation magic so you can see for yourself, please be careful.
Best Wishes,

Arnold Hedge’

The letter had arrived that morning. There would be no problem letting them move into one of the flowers in the tower, there was plenty of space. However, Choproff found the whole thing appalling and dangerous, he would have a look at the tests.
Choproff picked up his phone on his desk and speed dialled number one. The secretary of Cho-Towers answered.
‘Hello, Helen?’
‘Hello Mr Choproff.’
‘I was wondering, has a package arrived for me today?’
‘Several, sir.’
‘Pick one out that says the name Arnold Hedge for me and send it up, okay?’
‘Right away, sir I’m right on it.’
‘Thank you Helen.’
Choproff hung up the phone. Helen was a good women, she had been working for over twenty years at Cho-Towers and was friendly and good at her job. It only took three minutes for her to find the package and send it up.
It came on the metal Shute that could open at any floor and was controlled by buttons on the side.
Choproff opened the package. There where fifteen light blue balls. Magic. There was a picture of a light bulb on them. There was also a CD saying ‘Code’ on it. Choproff loaded the disc on his computer and took out his mod badge. It was also a phone and connected to computers. He slotted it in and put the codes onto the bade, now he had complete control of who got in there…or who didn’t. Personally he was glad. He was sealing it in the safe forever, so that Arnold couldn’t get his paws on it. It was obviously unstable and the mini versions where going to be burned. He wrote a note on the end of the letter.

‘Dear Arnold Hedge,

I’m sorry to inform that I will not be supporting the creation of the magic and I’m going to make sure that it doesn’t get into the wrong hands before I destroy it and the smaller versions. I just think that it’s too dangerous and unsafe.’

He signed the note and put it back into the envelope, scribbling Return to sender on it.
Okay, now it was really time for a cup of coffee. His machine was busted and secretly he was glad, the coffee wasn’t exactly the best quality and now he had an excuse to go to the café, the coffee there was excellent.
He put on his coat and was just about to leave when his phone rang. He swore and lifted the phone, not trying to disguise his displeasure.
‘Hello?’
‘H-h-hello Mr Choproff.’
‘Helen?’
‘Yes.’
‘What is it?’
‘I-It’s j-just that some p-people must speak to you d-down here.’
Choproff raised an eyebrow. What was wrong with Helen?
‘Helen honestly I’m busy,’ he lied. ‘If they have a real Mod or Agent badge in their procession then let them through.
Silence on the other end.
‘S-sir they don’t. B-but they h-have to speak to y-you.’
‘Helen tell them now is not the time. tell them they can reach me by letter or email.’
‘B-b-but sir-’
Choproff hung up.

Down in the first floor of Cho-Towers Helen put the phone down. She looked at the Chobots in front of her and flinched.
One was hidden under a hooded coat, only his hands where visible. The other was just horrible. He also wore a coat, disguising his true self to most people outside. However when he had came inside he had removed it.
He looked half robot. For a starter the left side of his head must have been removed because it was replaced with metal, his robotic eye was red. He had a normal left hand but his right one was pure metal. Also he didn’t wear a top. Parts of his chest and body was replaced with metal.
The incidents of the last five minutes flashed into Helen’s mind.
The two men had entered the building.
‘Hello,’ Helen had asked politely. ‘how can I help you.’
‘We are here to see Choproff,’ the hooded man had stated.
The man with the coat just growled.
‘I’m sorry, but you need an ID to see him or-’
‘I don’t think that’s true,’ the man had smirked and he clicked his fingers.
The other man had whipped off his coat and Helen screamed and covered her head.
‘Now, now, don’t cry,’ the man had chuckled. ‘This is Ross, he is my friend. As you can see he has some very major injuries but they won’t stop him crushing your little body in less than a second.’
‘P-p-p-please,’ Helen had stuttered. She always stuttered when she was nervous.
‘Now get onto your little phone to Choproff and tell him I need to speak to him or Ross will smash you!’
‘SMAAAAAASH,’ Ross had yelled making Helen jump.
When Ross screamed his red eye would swivel madly. Helen noted His huge muscles. He didn’t want to get on the wrong side of these people.
‘O-o-okay,’ Helen stammered and she picked up the phone and dialled Choproff’s Office number.
Now Helen wanted to fly away. Choproff wasn’t going to talk to these people.
‘I-I’m really sorry but h-he won’t c-come down,’ Helen muttered.
‘Oh, that’s fine,’ The man laughed. ‘We will go and see him ourselves.’
‘N-no sir. Y-you can-’
‘Ross, do it,’ The man ordered.
‘RROOOOOOSSSS,’ Ross yelled and lifted Helen into the air.
‘ARRGGGGH,’ Helen screamed and Ross hit her head with his metal fist.
She was dead before she hit the floor.
‘Now, Ross, let’s go see the old man!’
The two men walked towards the elevator.

Choproff was getting truly impatient. The elevator had been called a good five minutes ago. That was the bad thing about Cho-Towers. The elevator wouldn’t come for ages. The light flashed. At last. The doors opened and the hooded man and Ross entered.
‘Hello Choproff,’ the man said.
‘Who the heck are-’ Choproff began to speak but then saw Ross. His mouth hung open in shock and terror.
‘Close your mouth, old man. You might catch flies,’ The man laughed.
Ross punched Choproff in the stomach with his normal hand. Despite being normal it still knocked the wind out of Choproff and knocked him to the floor. He slid over on the floor over to the glass window and moaned.
‘Dear, dear,’ the man giggled.
Choproff got to his feet, one hand clutching his stomach, the other reaching under his oak desk, feeling for the red button to call security.
‘If you are trying to get help I’m afraid I’ve already disabled your alarm,’ the hooded man said.
‘What do you want.’ Choproff demanded.
‘What we want, is that Creation magic that you have given power over. Where is it?’
‘If you think that I-.’
‘Hush, now, old man. How about we talk later. Now It’s time for you to go on a holiday.’
Ross stepped over to Choproff and dragged him over to a wall and began tying him up with a chain that he had been using as a belt.
Choproff shouted out several times and swore as many bad words he could think of.
While they where busy The man had walked over to the desk and seen the letter and the box of small creation magic.
‘Ohhh this is interesting,’ the man said and pocketed the fifteen balls.
‘Ross bring the old man into the hover car and get the engine going, it’s time to leave.’
‘LEEEEEAVE,’ Ross howled loudly and dragged Choproff towards the door.
Suddenly Choproff had an idea. He screamed out the words
‘Franklin 84520921.’
Quickly something moved out from under Choproff’s desk and flew into the air vent.
The hooded man hadn’t noticed he was too busy putting on the creation magic onto the floor. In seconds it transformed into a large, black bomb the timer already counting down from ten minutes.
‘Oh, I love going out with a bang,’ the Man chuckled and left the room.

The explosion could have been seen from anywhere. The Cho-tower suddenly had burst into flames and the whole building had disintegrated into flames. Nothing was left, just an empty space. Nobody seen the hover car leave either.

To be continued….

-Yumega